Kopay has come a long way since his days as a pro from 1964-72. He talks with an obvious sadness about the isolation and self-loathing he felt when he was coming to grips with his homosexuality.
“The biggest fag-haters I know are the ones who are most confused and I was one of them,” he said.
It’s hard to imagine that this is the same man who became an outspoken champion of gay rights over the course of 25 years, appearing on numerous radio and TV shows and in newspapers and giving hundreds of speeches. He remains one of the handful of professional athletes who have come out. He still gets mail and phone calls from people who have been touched by his book. Kopay’s message through the years has remained constant: Be yourself.
“I always let [audiences] relate to me as an athlete and as a man,’’ said Kopay, who added that young people most identify with his plea for fairness in the treatment of gay people.
Fairness is a common theme with Kopay and it’s obvious he never felt he was fairly treated by football once he came out. He is angry that “there never was a shot for me” in coaching, though he admits his pride and struggles with his homosexuality played a big part at the time. He is also angry that the “NFL has totally run away from me,” instead of acknowledging the positive contributions he has made for gay rights. Kopay added that he would jump at the chance to be a diversity speaker for the league.
Kopay agrees that sports still lag behind the rest of society in its acceptance of gays, “ but that we are making progress.” He is blunt when asked how straights could co-exist with openly gay teammates in lockerrooms: “We’ve been trained since we’re very young to not pay attention to other men. …. Why is it that every heterosexual man thinks every gay man wants his ass?”
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