Finally I decided to tell someone I was gay. One night I went over to one of my best friends apartment and we started talking about accepting people for who they are. One thing led to another and I told him I was gay. While there was some slight shock on his part, as my best friend, he was understanding and immediately accepting. I still smile when I look back on the feelings and relief I experienced that evening.
With my friend’s help, we talked about which members of the team would react in which ways. I started to tell more teammates over the next few weeks and the reactions were great.
One teammate asked if I would still want to go to Tigers baseball games with him. Another simply said, “I don’t fucking care, that’s fine.” All of them said that if they had previously said anything that offended me, they were extremely sorry.
It’s a good feeling to know that people care about your feelings. It’s also great to know that one person can change the way others think and feel about something. Many of my teammates had never known another gay person. However, once they realized that nothing about me had changed, nothing about the relationships I had with any of them changed either. If anything, there was more of a bond present between the team. A new level of trust was present, and it is an amazing feeling.
The worst thing I have experienced were comments such as, “you’re fast for one of those queer boys.” I always make an off-hand remark back about how I’m just fast, regardless of being gay or not. If that’s the worst I experience then I am an extremely lucky guy.
New opportunities
Shortly after accepting myself, I realized how little I had done to help others and attempt at making a change in hopes that others can feel safe to be out in athletics.
A year after coming out to my friends and teammates on campus, a new opportunity presented itself to me. I heard of a new student organization that had just started up to fight homophobia, SAGA (Student Alliance for Gay Athletes and allies).
I walked into the group’s first meeting this spring and heard the two organizers share personal stories of the homophobia present on their teams. It was then I decided to be a part of the organization. To go on worrying solely about myself and my surroundings would have been the easy and selfish way out. There is, unfortunately, a huge need for groups like this on campus.
I have since been named co-president with Maggie Manville and we have been reaching out to student athletes on campus. She is definitely the workhorse of the organization, and we’re working really hard on getting the group rolling.
Our biggest dilemma is reaching out to sports teams where we don’t have a lot of influence, such as football and men’s basketball. However, steps are being taken to help reach all sports and educate and bring awareness to the issue. Things we are looking to do include: diversity training for coaches and athletes; bringing in NCAA accredited speakers to talk about sexuality and sport and creating a safe space for athletes who identify themselves as a part of the LGBT community.
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